{ WHEN THE KIDS ARE SLEEPING }

It's always makes me smile to see my trios sleeping together... yeah.. they are sleeping in a line.. (sebaris..) sometimes they hugged each others and sometimes they just fight and kicked one another... huhuhu...

It worth more than anything in the world to have kids...Alhamdulillah... they are the most precious gift from Allah... and I will always love Anis, Eiman & Arissa... FOREVER...!!!

{ I AM TIRED... }

Yes... I am extremely exhausted lately... I really really mean it... berpunca dari mentally distressed leads physically lethargic... damn difficult to explain... only Allah knows...

Satu persatu things happened... It seems like my life is hell out of control now... need to expect the unexpected... I am tired of think the best way out... I am having a real difficulties to concentrate on what am I doing... name it work or daily routine...

Mungkin inilah balasannya atas segala kejahatan yang aku pernah lakukan dulu-dulu... Mungkin ada rahmat dan hikmah atas segala yang berlaku... hanya itu saja yang mampu memujuk hati... di kala aku rasa saaannggaaattt tak tahan... when I feel like my mind is exploding and jantung macam nak pecah kerana berdebar dan susah hati...

Yeah.. pretending to be cool, calm and collected doesn't always work okay... sometimes I feel tired of pretending I am cool... walhal sebenarnya aku sangat risau, trying not to think... come on la.. aku juga manusia, punya hati dan perasaan... tapi, yelah... I don't always have an opportunity to express what I feel... bila aku tunjukkan kerisauan dan kebengangan aku... orang anggap lain.. bila aku cuba tunjukkan my confidence dan relax... orang akan kata aku 'tak ambil peduli'.. so apa sebenarnya..?? That's why, aku lebih suka ambil pendekatan berdiam diri... pendam apa aku rasa.. walau tempiasnya kadang-kadang terpaksa aku luahkan dalam entries di sini bilamana aku dah tak tahan dan out of control.. dalam diam, i talked to myself... luahkan pada the other side of me... setidaknya aku rasa terubat dari bercakap dengan org lain yang mungkin tidak faham apatah lagi memujuk or menenangkan malahan merendahkan atau kondem apa yang aku rasa... it will then makes my feeling worse.. and my heart broken...

hmmm..it almost midnight now... rasanya tu jelah kot yg aku nak luahkan hari nie.. I need to sleep and wake up at 4.30 utk masak sahur... till then...salam...

{ SALAM RAMADHAN }

Salam Ramadhan semua... huhu.. finally I can't take it anymore... I need break today... normally lunch hour pun I need to do my job... until I thought... why should I do that? Because, regardless how diligent am I... I still have to wait till 6pm to go home...!!! Yup.. Ramadhan is pretty exhausting and challenging month for me...

Well, anyway.. I already back to work on the 1st puasa... while others (mostl company/organization in Johor) were on Public Holiday. Well.. my eyes not 100% recovered but yeah.. a lot more better than my 'blind' time... at least now I know how blind people feel... and I became more appreciate to Allah's gift...

Weekend before Ramadhan menjelang, I went back to Muar... paid a visit to my beloved mom, adik2 and relatives... it was great because Nana ikut sekali... so I brought Eiman as well... pity Kak Long kena tinggal lagi but nak buat mcmana kan... cut cost tu satu hal la.. some more she had an activity organised by PASTI. So, Anis and ayah attended the activity 'peace-of-min'..takdelah kecoh with me and adik2 nya... It was a great weekend... because kenduri surau was held on that day.... and as always, kenduri ni juga dikenali sbg kenduri ambang.. because penduduk kampung will bring nasi ambang and after kenduri they'll change the remainings and hantar ke rumah-rumah yang menyumbangkan nasi ambang. This is known as 'berkat'.

Mak also contributed nasi ambang for the kenduri... as usual.. mmg mewah dan untung sapa yg dapat berkat nasi ambang keluarga kami... ngehehehe... feel free to see the photo below:

Furgggkkhhsssssssssss meleleh air liur den dibueknya... lauk-pauk yang mak masak... memang semua peberet aku... sedapnya...dahla tgh puasa nie...huhuhu... lauk-lauk mak masak saaangaaatt sedap... ada ayam kurma, daging rendang, serunding (eh..i got some in my fridge la..lupa plaks..huhu), sambal goreng, ikan bulu ayam, mee goreng... mak said.. all cost around RM200+ tu prepare the dishes. Which was not surprising since nowadays everything is expensive.. am I right..??

Well... the only thing i didn't managed to get during this balik kampung time was Mee Bandung Muar yg sangat famous itu.... went passed the shop but full with people and the major constraint was parking.. so we decided to go to bus station ... and I had a nice plate of Nasi Beringin... I never found this nasi anywhere else except here... and it was sooo nice... :-)

So I think that's all for now... I am so mengantuk and need a quick nap before my boss come back from lunch.... daaaa........

{ I WON'T MISS A THING }

I won't miss it...

I won't miss you...

I won't remember it...

I won't forgive you...

I won't fight for it...

I won't give up for 'em...

I won't let 'em spoilt for what been thru...

so I won't... I won't stop to walk thru this life...

cuz Life Goes On...

Thanks for waking me up...

What You See Is What You Get... What You Give You Get Back...

{ TO MY DEAREST KIDDOS }

Untuk anak-anak mama bertiga...

Masanya akan tiba jua... bilamana Kak Long, Eiman & Adik akan rasa nikmatnya dunia kanak-kanak... bebas tanpa kongkongan... penuh riang gelak ketawa... tanpa terlalu banyak JANGAN...

Waktunya akan datang... untuk Kak Long bergembira dan bebas... untuk Eiman senyum riang... untuk Adik tertawa ria...

Mama akan jadikan ianya satu realiti... agar anak-anak mama dapat merasai nikmat yang mungkin tidak pernah atau jarang kalian rasai selama hidup ini... mama akan usahakan... mama nak anak-anaik mama rasa seronoknya hidup alam kanak-kanak, agar ianya dapat dijadikan memori berharga... apabila anak-anak mama mula melangkah meninggalkan alam itu... kerana mama dah melalui semua itu.. dan mama tak mahu kerana terlalu banyak JANGAN... anak-anak mama akan terlepas peluang yg datang hanya sekali dalam hidup ini...

MAMA SAYANG KAK LONG, EIMAN & ADIK...